I had to practice this exercise several times within the past week due to various issues that I found a various parts of the exercise. I found the exercise Loving Kindness to be quite relaxing and enjoyable at first. When thinking of a loved one I was able to completely absorb this person into my body and soul. I felt warmth completely rush through my body and fill my heart. It was as if I was floating. I then turned these feelings within myself and felt completely comfortable.
For the first couple of times I tried the exercise I found that once I was asked to think of a loved one who suffering i became overwelmed. I found that I felt upset, tearful and my heart was heavy. I felt as though I was taken much air into my lungs as possible and trying to blow the suffering as fare away as I could. Each day that I practiced I pictured a different member of my family and all of the trouble we are experiencing at the present time.
I then focused on the group of strangers such as my patients I care for at work and with each breath I brought them into my heart and blew their suffering away. I found focusing on strangers to be much easier than focusing on the suffering of my family. This has come to disturb me in so many ways. :o(
Dear BB,
ReplyDeleteI also felt very happy in the beginning of the meditation when thinking of someone I love dearly in a positive way and I also reacted as you did when I was at the point in the meditation where we take on their suffering. It is very intense yet, as you said, with practice this too will become easier. I found that during this exercise there were things in my character that needed to be changed and were brought to the forefront by this meditation practice. As an RN you have to deal with suffering in its many forms on a daily basis and compassion is part of your nature. Thank you for your candid description of your experience. I am a better person for your contribution. Thank you, Nutritionista